With the rapid decline of health in the last month of life for my mother, Annamichele [Ann Collins] Bedford Spears, my husband, children, and I tried to decide the best way to celebrate her upcoming milestone, 80th birthday on August 5th, 2024.
My brother, her favorite child and only son, called to let me know his plans to visit mom from Minneapolis for her birthday. “My Flight arrives on Saturday, August 2nd, and I’ll be there through Tuesday August 6th, Corey shared. “So what are we doing for mom’s birthday?” he asked. I answered by telling him that we had not made any major plans and were taking each day as they came.
My mother had been sleeping most of the days and awake at night for several weeks. She had most recently stopped feeding herself. Her diligent and loving caregivers and nurses were keeping a very close eye on her and monitoring her vitals closely as well. “We plan to order her favorite cake, Red Velvet, and I have been talking about your coming here for her birthday, loudly, so she could know that you’ll be here soon to help celebrate even while she would doze off,” I explained to Corey. “We have to see how she’s feeling that day,” I added.
As July came to a close, my mother’s health continued to decline, yet each morning I greeted her the same way I always had, with a lighthearted, “Good morning, Queen Mother!” My voice was jovial and high-pitched, a playful aristocratic tone she had come to expect. But on the morning of July 30th, when I entered her room and called out to her, there was no response.
I moved closer and gently tried to reposition her in bed, expecting the usual murmurs of pain. She would often say, “Oww… oww… oww,” as even the slightest movement caused her discomfort. But this time, there was only silence. In that stillness, I realized she had peacefully transitioned. My heart ached as I stood there, processing the quiet finality of her passing.
With a heavy heart, I called my brother, Corey, who was still in Minneapolis. Although he wanted to, he wasn’t able to arrive in time to be by her side. My brother landed in Houston as scheduled on that following Saturday. We both knew she had chosen her time, leaving this world on her own terms, free from pain and surrounded by love.
Though grief enveloped us, we knew we had to honor her memory in the way she would have wanted—by celebrating her life on what would have been her 80th birthday, August 5th. Instead of a traditional celebration, we spent the day – apart – reflecting. Then we headed over to church for Corey to record a video tribute in her honor. This tribute would be played during the first of two Celebration of Life services the August 9th.
The first service took place at Wheeler Avenue Baptist Church in Houston, Texas, attended by our beloved church family, family members that resided nearby, and close family friends. Though Corey couldn’t stay in town for this service, his love and gratitude were deeply felt in the video tribute he created. The second service was held the following Saturday, August 17th, at her home church, St. Peter’s AME in Minneapolis, Minnesota. There, surrounded by family, lifelong friends, and the community that had seen her grow and thrive, we sang, praised God, shared stories and memories, brunched, and celebrating the beautiful legacy she left behind.
As I sat down to write this tribute, the memories of my mother flooded my mind—her wisdom, her kindness, and the way she always knew how to make others feel seen and loved. She was more than just “Mommy” to me; she was my first coach, my greatest supporter, and the woman who taught me the meaning of resilience and grace. With her spirit guiding me, I wrote the following:
“Cheers to 80 Years!”
Happy Heavenly Birthday to the best mom ever,
Eighty trips around the sun, a journey we’ll treasure.
You planned your own celebration, free from pain,
Absent from your body, with the Lord you reign!
As your first born, I cherish all you gave,
Your spirit and love, so strong and brave.
My friends even trusted you, they knew they could call,
Your caring ear, a friend to all.
Chaperoning with Mama, getting the party started,
The ‘cool mom’ stern when needed,
but always kind-hearted.
Music and dancing, you loved it so,
At our high school house parties, you’d steal the show.
First responders, friends like family near,
Aunts, uncles, and cousins, always here.
Remember the Fourth of July BBQs, and hot tub parties galore,
Police would stop by, but not to restore …
Order-they’d come over, just to say, “Hey!”
Grabbing a plate and check out the shenanigans on full display!
Your Besties – my Aunties, showed me what true,
Lifelong friendships looked like, both old and new.
I will always love and miss you Mommy dear,
But your spirit and presence will always be near.
“Cheers to 80 years!” we say on this day,
In memoriam, we’ll celebrate in our own grand way!
“The best parts of me are from you, Mommy!
Your eldest and tallest daughter!”
Peace & Love with faith … !
Eph. 6:23
CoachLeahTM
